It’s Cancelled: The Intersection of “Controllables” and “Uncontrollables
Below is an excerpt from my book, The Power of Pivot: A Female Perspective on Embracing Change, (Now available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08DRXLVB4)
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One quick note: The below story occurred in the summer of 2019. Since living in pandemic world, my perspective has widened even more. Virtually every race on the calendar this year across the US was canceled. Two of mine- a 50k and a half marathon were canceled. While rereading my own story now, I see how much of a place of privilege I am speaking from when I say, “I didn’t think it was fair for the race officials to undermine my training and my goals. I felt wholly disrespected.”
Living in a pandemic world has broadened my views and made me grateful for safety-driven race officials and organizers who value human health and safety above all things. Whether it’s a pandemic or a heat wave, I commit to continuing to focus on what I can control: My attitude and my thoughts.
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It’s canceled.
When I signed up for my first triathlon, I was feeling ambitious. I didn’t consider the shorter options and set my eyes on the Olympic distance: A 0.93 mile swim and a 24.8 mile bike ride, followed by a 6.2 mile run.
I spent months training, waking up early beginning in the spring and throughout the summer to get in the runs, bikes, and swims necessary to properly prepare my mind and body for the race. I distinctively recall a certain Saturday morning over the summer when I was grinding my way through a brick workout, which essentially combines more than one part of the triathlon into a single workout. That particular morning I’d be attempting a bike-to-run brick, where I’d complete 20 miles on the bike, followed by a 4 mile run.
I had read somewhere that the transitions, which is the time spent between each of the different parts of the triathlon, are critical and need to be practiced as if it were the real race, requiring both focus and planning. So, my strategy was to do just that. On that Saturday I left some water and my preferred form of workout fuel, applesauce, on the stairs leading into my apartment to properly set the stage, enabling me to practice this brick as if I were competing in the actual race.
Twenty miles later, I stormed through the door of my apartment, dashing down the stairs to the basement to park my bike, and ran back up the stairs to begin my run. In my mind, every second mattered, and the clock was ticking. When I got back up the stairs and squeezed some applesauce into my mouth in a manic rush, I looked up to see one of my roommates.
“What are you doing?”
Between exasperated breaths and sips of water, I tried to explain my plan to her. She looked mortified.
The rest of my training remained similar: focused, strategic, and intense. I embodied the essence of the Alexander Graham Bell quote, “Preparation is the key to success,” and absorbed that belief into my subconscious. Nothing was going to stop me from succeeding on race day. . . or so I thought.
A few days before the race, I became aware of the excruciatingly high temperatures that were being forecasted. However, I had specifically trained for this possibility and had well adapted to the summer heat. I wasn’t going to let this small annoyance (Lego-type change) impact me negatively.
I shortly thereafter received the dreaded email that read:
“Upon consultation with the event’s Medical Team, local law enforcement, and local meteorologists, for your safety and the safety of volunteers and law enforcement, the decision has been made to modify the Challenge distance to a Sprint (Fit) distance.”
In that moment, I was particularly upset. I didn’t think it was fair for the race officials to undermine my training and my goals. I felt wholly disrespected. As my emotions began to subside, I saw the logic in the decision process, and yet, I still felt a desire to set out and do what I had intended. Was I going to be a victim of these uncontrollable circumstances? I thought through what I could control and what I could not control.
I realized I actually had a lot of choices, but ultimately arrived at three final options: I could choose to compete in the race and feel disappointed that my goal of completing a full Olympic triathlon was squelched. I could compete in the race and choose not to feel disappointed and be satisfied with completing half the distance I had trained for. Or, I could get a little more creative.
I chose to get a bit creative. Race day came, all had gone well, and I had aced my transitions and done well in the overall race itself. But after crossing the finish line, I wasn’t quite finished. I arrived back to my apartment, grabbed my bike and helmet once again, which were still emblazoned with the race stickers and number labels, and then headed out on the all-familiar local multi-use path. I had plans to complete the full distance myself.
Sometime during the next 12.4 miles on the bike, I encountered some familiar faces: volunteers from the event on the trail, biking home themselves. They didn’t explicitly say it, but their faces expressed it, in the same way my roommate had when I had stormed through the apartment door on that one Saturday just weeks before:
“What are you doing?”
This time I didn’t have to explain myself. I was on a mission to finish what I had set out to do. As the temperatures rose well into the 90s, I completed the bike portion, and then parking my bike back in the basement one final time, I went back out on the trail to finish the 3.1 miles of running. I had successfully completed my version of an Olympic triathlon, but had more importantly learned an important life lesson about resilience and my power to use the “controllable” and “uncontrollable” changes in life to my own advantage.
Before this occurrence, I had already understood the art of dividing life’s moments between those two dichotomies in order to help myself live the best way possible. But from this experience, I realized that there is overlap between what is controllable in life and what is not. Like the yin and yang symbol, I learned that within the uncontrollable parts of life exists very tangible things I can control, and vice versa. The power lies in being able to discern what opportunities lie in the uncontrollable. Using this concept has helped facilitate a psychological change in thought that still impacts me today. At the crux of this personal realization in regards to the concept of change laid the principle of resilience.
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In this article series, I share excerpts, stories, and musings from my book, The Power of Pivot. I hope you enjoyed this post — if you enjoyed it and want to connect you can reach me via email [thepowerofpivot@gmail.com], or through my website: http://www.thepowerofpivot.co/#/
